


Calling Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha, is this Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha?

by Pocketsized_Kanaya_Maryam



Series: Red vs. Blue Ft. Members of PFL: Drabbles [1]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Drabble, a few sex jokes, freelancers added to red and blue team, people fucking with each other, tucker thinks hes cool but hes really a nerd like everyone else in the series, wayyyyyy too many tags considering the length of the fic itself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-12
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-08 21:58:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4322283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pocketsized_Kanaya_Maryam/pseuds/Pocketsized_Kanaya_Maryam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The main use of a voice filter is to fuck with people, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Calling Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha, is this Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [directium](https://archiveofourown.org/users/directium/gifts).



> Tumblr user directium meantioned an everyone lives au, and i just like the idea of the south fucking with ppl.  
> (this au can be found here: directium.tumblr.com/tagged/Everyone-Lives-AU/chrono)  
> not rlly even close to good writing but i wrote it quickly so *shurg*

“Hello. Is this Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha?” a voice on the radio asked.

The soldier who was called raised an eyebrow under his helmet. “Yeah?  This is Private Tucker speaking. Who the fuck am I talking to?”

The voice on the other end cleared their throat. “I’m with the UNSC legal department, and we have reason to suspect that you’re harboring war criminals in your base. Would you like to claim otherwise?”

Tucker felt the blood drain from his face. He didn’t know what could happen to him. He _was_ probably considered an accomplice to a crime. “Uh, what makes you think that we’re doing that? Not that we are.  It’s just, why do you think that?” he rambled. In his speech, he may have spoken a little too fast, but who gives a fuck really?

“You mean to tell me that you are not, in fact, hiding the following people in your base? These people are: Dr. Leonard L. Church, former director of military project: Project Freelancer, as well as members: Agents Wyoming, York, Carolina, and Florida?” The voice inquired, somewhat monotonously.

Tucker was about to reply with a no, but before he could stop himself, the sentence, “Florida? Tex said he was blown up!” came out _way_ too quickly.

“So you do know other agents?”

“No, I just—”

“And you do know Dr. Church?”

“It was a different Church,” Tucker spat back defensively.

“I _definitely_ believe you, Private Tucker,” The voice was incredibly sarcastic. “…But I hope you know that we will have to have verification of this, so we will be sending out a representitive to reassure us of these claims you’re making.”

Tucker began to panic, but in the background of the call, he heard another voice.

“South? What are you doing? Sarge is trying to get us to have one of those meetings again, you should be in there,” the second voice said.

“Not now, North. I’m busy.” The voice was completely different from the other two, and it was a lot fainter, but Tucker knew what was happening now.

“So, Mr. UNSC legal guy, when are you planning on doing this? Kinda have a _tight_ schedule,” Tucker began. Like always, he was unable to veer away from a sex joke. “If you know what I mean. Bow-chicka-bow-wow.”

“What?”

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go check the other base on the other side of the canyon for war criminals. I’m pretty sure I saw a girl over there that belonged to that project you were talking about. She has purple armor with green accents, and according to the agents, I _do_ know, she’s one of them. So, if you don’t mind, I’ll be going now. Peace out, bitches.”

South turned off her voice filter to send one last transmission: “Fuck off, Private Tucker.”

“I already told you I had a _tight_ schedule. What makes you think I wasn’t planning on it?” He hung up.


End file.
